superstition to fruition

now who should i pursue?

I know I said that the blog before this could actually be the last blog for this thread. Well I just can't be helped, this has to be included for a reason I will reveal as I along the way with this one.

Anyways, Happy New Year to everyone, Welcome to my year, as I explained on the previous blog, this is my year so, I know only good things will come for me from this point on.

So there I was, trying to move on with my life and I was actually eying this girl that I bumped on, or chanced upon around the month of November if I am not mistaken. She's actually very pretty and charming, a very young nurse. Well anyways, after what has happened to me, I didn't know where to start or if I could even start moving on with my life. I was really hurt you know and was belittled by the very person I have come to love the most, which is still true up to this point. I mean I cannot take back my feelings for her, it's the same feelings really.

She knows this about my personality though, im the kind of person that whenever I get hurt or have been belittled by someone, I am the kind of person who does not only "get even" I'm the one who gets better. And she knows that I am the kind of person who dribbles with the other hand. I mean, if life was a basketball, I can't survive the entire game if i dribble with just one hand. I always have a back up plan, a fall back if you may all going towards the same direction. Assuring the I would get there no matter what.

So,enough about that part. This blog is about me moving on right. So there I was, not knowing if I still have what it takes to get a girl, disoriented but not clueless of course. I started stirring up a conversation. I will admit, it was hard at first because I was a bit rusty I mean, five years of being loyal to one girl not trying my craft well, it made it a bit rusty.

I said to my self, damn this girl is awesome I mean, she is actually. This event however made me ask my self, am i being unfaithful to "her" if I try to make a move with this girl. I mean would that make me a liar because after telling "her" I will always love her, here I am having my eye on this girl. Those questions actually remained unanswered.

And then here we are, talking like we have known each other for ages, laughing at each others punch line despite some of them being cliche's. It was really and awesome feeling all of a sudden. I really never thought I would giggle like that after what I have been through, but I did, with this new girl. So anyways, I really didn't expect this girl, this young, and me too rusty with my "craft" having this so much fun. Days turned to weeks and it became two months then it wasn't long when she admitted she is feeling something for me and although her original plan of getting married was like five years from now, she changed to three years and said please to me. Damn it, she said PLEASE! I didn't expect that because here I was, begging "her" to get back with me and here is this new girl telling me to consider her three year plan, with the word please.

well anyways, I really didn't feel like venturing into that area of conversation just yet so, I just brushed it aside like she never mentioned it. I am still enjoying my stay on my own turtle shell so to speak, just sneaking my head out every now and then so having a serious relationship isn't really something I would consider right now, although I wont deny going to when it really feels like "this is it".

This blog however, happened last night. She was about to go home so like the routine thins I would tell "her", I told this new girl to update me, because I wanted to make sure she gets home safe and sound. This is what I would usually tell "her" when she travels, that she text me even in the dead of night and let me know.

While this new girl was out so we were texting where she was and how the travel is going the whole nine yards, the weirdest of all weird things happened.

well I am not sure if there is a way, and if there is, I swear I didn't do anything to make it that way. I am talking about cellphone messages. Normally, the messages will appear by dates right. I mean, the newer message will be the ones on top of the older messages right? not the other way around.

Like I said, I was texting this new girl when all of a sudden, one of the messages this new girl send cannot be opened for some reason. I waited a bit and tried again several times but it really wont open. After trying for a good ten minutes or so, I finally decided to reboot my phone maybe there was something wrong with it so, I did.

When I turned it on, LOW AND BEHOLD! the top most messages supposedly the newest message was not from this new girl. What was now on top was the October 1, 2013 message sent to me by "her".

I was really shocked, I looked at it really hard before I opened it, read it several times before I decided to look at the date and it was a very old message from "her" and the new message from the new girl was buried deep into the archives of my old messages! I mean how the F@CK can that be?

With all my questions being left unanswered, here I was facing a new thing that needed interpretation. I mean, I am not a very superstitious guy but, come on, Of all other old messages that would come up on top, it was "her" message that showed up.

So what does it mean now? Is destiny telling me the answer to my question about feeling the guilt of being unfaithful to her despite promising to love her always? Am I being told by destiny to stop this adventure with this new girl? Hell I don't know.

Truth be told, I kinda like this new girl and I think she is a family material type, which is the one I am looking for. I know I will not find it hard to make things work for us, to love her that's what I am saying.

On the other hand, I still am very in love with "her" despite her disinterest with me, and that I wont mind getting back together with her and starting over.

One thing I realized is that, hell I still have the magic in me! I wonder if I can turn it into a book or something, what do you think?

But, I know what just happened on my cellphone has something deeper to it, I just don't know yet what it is.

P.S.

I need your help interpreters and card readers!

I guess the bottom line of all this is that, if I want to, just for the sake of having a girlfriend to replace her, I can have one in an instant, but the thins is, I don't want to because I am still so into "her", which she must not know just yet.