like the hell I care

a sonnet of me and you

It really doesn't make sense even to me honestly. I am what most people would call stupid hopeless romantic. Maybe they are right, maybe I really am supposed to live in crazy town or face the firing squad.

What am I talking about is that I am still so in love with her. even thought i got no emails from her,she hasn't texted me, no calls, even unfriended me on facebook well actually blocked and unfriended my friends too,  heck I don't even know where she is. crazy right? I don't hate her though, because the is not even close to what she actually did to cause all this, but of course, I too had a part i should be blamed for. Playing chess with domino because, well it's like fighting for someone who doesn't want you to fight for her. Did that makes more sense?

I have every bit of reason in this world not to even dare think about her. a "she who must not be named" sort of thing like tom riddle, because of the  really bad stuff she caused me. yup! +Harry Potter @Lord Voldemort level!

A friend actually gave me ten reasons why I shouldn't bother thinking about her, why I should not even dream that one day, we will be reunited and you know, have our happily ever after version of things. My friend, although not an +Ophrah Winfrey is really very good with coming up with the reason, the kind of friend who, almost always, I would listen to and trust with the moves that I have to make in life when I myself have no idea what to do.

There were ten reason that was given to me and I am sure, it was done not in haste, not based on hate or the mere attempt to make sense of things for me. I trust that if someone would read it, they would fall on the "he who has read it will follow it by the letter" curse. I say that because I am sure, it was a very very good and very very valid reason, or in this case, reasons not to want to be with her anymore.

I am saying I am sure because, I never actually read the reasons that was enumerated for me.

I just said, well i'l tell you what, I have known you as a friend for so long, and I would trust you with my life, I will listen to your voice as you give me directions if i were walking on a cliff blind folded. I know, what ever it is you wrote, are true, very well thought of, very convincing and most likely, without any loop holes. Now, I will add, 90 blanks on your enumeration, not because I think the reasons you came up with are not as convincing or not well thought of. Let's just assume for a while that given some more time, you can still come up with 90 more reasons, or even 200, or a thousand reasons more for me not to want her,you can list it there, but none of it will ever change the way I feel for her.

I never really bothered reading them. not because I am afraid I would be convinced by them reasons, I never read it simply because none of it matters to me, and it will never convince me not to love her anymore. I can read it, probably understand the words, but I just won't see what it is. Whatever the reasons were listed, like the hell i care!, I love her anyway.

True love I thinks this is what it is called. There can be no other name than love. Love is the source of everything that is good in life. Love will not hurt, love definitely will not hate.

The million dollar question is, why the hell ain't we together? beats me! I love her that's all that matters.

I am not trying to be a guru or something but hear me out on this.

What a person thinks is always what the person feels, but what the person feels is not always what a person thinks. What a person thinks, and eventually feels, is what is going to manifest.

Emotion, like love, happiness, or hate which are all constant like the law of gravity is actually something that we feel. Relationship on the other hand, is not born out of these emotions, it is something conceived in the mind, and in case of love, nurtured by it and expressed as a commitment.

If you think you hate someone, then you hate someone, then you feel it. If you think you love someone, then you love someone, then you feel it. If there is a conflict between the what the mind thinks and what the heart feels, the heart is always the victim.

I mean, one cannot feel hate for someone without thinking of hating that someone first. You only start to feel the hate, when you think about it. When your mind is thinking something else, then you don't think hate, then you don't feel hate. It only shows up when you start to think you hate the someone again. The same thing happens with love, when you think you love someone, then you love someone, then you will feel it, then you will manifest what you think. If things don't manifest, then it means you are not thinking about it that is why you are not feeling it, that is why it is not happening.

She doesn't feel she loves me because she doesn't think she loves me and that is what is manifesting. However when she will start to think she loves me, because of all the things we have had and could have, then she will feel the love for me again, then that is what is going to manifest eventually.

I don't know if i am making sense here. Well, I will try to make it a bit more simple.

Feel with you heart but create a relationship with your head and not the other way around. If you feel with your head, the it is logic, not emotion. If so, you will start thinking about compatibility, this and that, what other people would think, what it is in it for you or not, are you being fair or not to the person. True love which comes for the heart does not count if you have an evenly distributed love.

If you create relationship with your heart, then it will be tragic. You may not be able to fix issues because one get's angry all the time, damn, you may not even be able to talk things out because one would get hysterical all the time. Issues would show up always because of let's say, jealousy.

Where does mine come in on all this. well, I still believe that what you think is what you feel and what you think and feel is what will manifest. I am not saying one should ignore the other, no not at all. God made it that way for a reason so relationship should be created by the mind, emotions by the heart.

I think and feel that if she would only find time to think about how we loved each other, how great we were together, how great it would be if get back together, then that is what she would eventually feel, then that it what it will eventually manifest. Then we will back in each other's arms once again where +TwinFlames really belong.

I know I love her, and I feel it deep inside, and I think and feel that the day will come that we will be reunited, how it will manifest or as what, is not for me to worry about or even think of, but for God to put in place at the right time.

P.S.

Will someone start making her think about us! Please! Wise Guy as what she would call you!

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